Confusion

A simple, single word that wreaks havoc at the most inopportune moments.  What to do?  What to say?  How to act?  With this being a season of harvest, I would have thought things would have been a lot easier to handle.  But it seems as if the smarter and wiser I get, the more baffled I become.  Seeking God is a gamble i.e. you never know what you are going to get.  Sometimes you get a quick answer.  Other times, you might get sheer silence.  The most awkward response is when He shows you something and then changes His mind and sends you in a different direction.  Sometimes I wonder if God has comedy shows because I truly feel like He is getting his 7 chuckles in on me.  And the worst part is that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.  NOTHING!  I wouldn’t trade my love for and obedience to God for anything but that doesn’t mean this journey is not frustrating.  I am being tried and stretched more than a little bit and I am not certain how much more elastic my spirit has left.  My heart has expanded and contracted so much that it has stretch marks.  So now what?  I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  However, it almost feels like a mirage.  It’s not blinding…it’s almost fading.  I’m not sure which one is worse.  What I do know is that I have a cloud hovering over me and a blanket in my hand waiting for something (unsure what) to happen.  In the meantime, I scratch my naked temple almost to the white meat trying to figure out what the hell is going on.