I am not my Hair! I am not my Weight! (Sick & Tired cont'd)

I sit here absolutely annoyed by stigmatisms and stereotypes. I fall victim to it each and every day in one of two forms: my Hair and my Weight. It is contagious. The negativity I get from others often invades my membranes entering into my nucleus and the infection begins with simple mitosis of demeaning thoughts.  As with any process of reproduction, this eventually leads to the creation of an entity hat functions on its own…something very complex. It almost seems human thus the reason for the capitalization of "Hair" and "Weight."  They are life forms to me igniting a daily internal battle much like a married couple would have.  But I can't get away from myself.  I go to sleep and wake up with me.  I go to work and have lunch with me.  I have to take care of these "people" that cause me so much strife.
 
Oh how I love strangers! Strangers will give you the best compliments but people who know you will make you feel absolutely lower than a beetle's toe. Strangers say nice things such as "I love your hair" or "I wish I was your size." People who know you say things like "Why did you get your hair like that?" or "You have picked up some weight I see." Self acceptance is very difficult to obtain when the people you thought were in your corner are cheering for the other team.  Don't misunderstand me.  I know there are some strangers out there who judge me as well.  They see my natural hair do and think I am a lesbian.  Or they think I am from a different country. They think I have gone through chemotherapy.  Even worse, they think I am going through some type of emotional breakdown.  My hair does not define me.  My weight?  Another separate entity.  I am treated as if I am not allowed to gain weight. "You are so active. How did you gain weight?" "What are you doing? You are getting kind of heavy." "Wow, your thighs are getting big." And the ultimate... "Are you pregnant?" Why are people paying so much attention to what size I wear to begin with? My weight does not define me.

We underestimate the power of our judgment and the effect it has on others.  When people are judged harshly, usually one of two things occurs: they retreat or they become more radical.  Let’s look at a few examples.  Mariah Carey had a bad movie and bad album.  The media took her through the ringer.  Result: Nervous breakdown.  Britney Spears grew up being judged.  The more she was judged, the more bad decisions she made i.e. marriage, kids, divorce, music.  Result: Nervous Breakdown.  Janet Jackson has been judged and put on a pedestal that she did not ask for all of her life.  The media buzzes more about her weight than her talent.  Result: Hiatus.  She has pulled a disappearing act many times and I am sure there will be more in the future.  Kanye West lost his mom and the media would not leave him alone.  Everywhere he went they were in his face.  This led to several piss poor decisions including several outbursts on television that have brought him negative publicity.  Result: On the brink of a nervous breakdown.  I’m patiently waiting on that one.  I am not making excuses for anyone’s erratic behavior.  We all have to practice some self control.  However, we also need to look at our role in the stage play called Life.
 
I understand that by society's standard I will never be a model. I am not a size 0 or 2 and don’t recall being one since 5^th grade.  I understand that I likely won't be a beau of a celebrity. I don't fit into the stereotype of what they should look like i.e. weave down to my butt.  I am ok with that. I don't consider them to be a part of the majority anyway. They have their own world with their own set of rules which they are judged harshly for too.  But to the rest of my everyday folk.  Just back off!!!!  My hair and weight do not define me so please just let me be me…better yet, just let me be!